Angry Polish Girl

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2010-12-21T16:54:00.001+01:00

There won't be anyone to text '보고 싶다'...

10 days

2010-12-15T10:24:00.004+01:00

싼타님께

저는 싼타님께 편지를 씨기 전에 머리가 아플 만큼 생각했습니다.사실 싼타를 안 믿는데요. 그런데도 가끔 마음을 지키기 위해 싼타께나 편지를 써야 한다는 말을 들 수 있습니다.
올해 예쁜 선물이나 받고 싶지 않습니다. 사랑이나 명예가 필요 없습니다.
미모는 꼭 지내고 지혜가 벌써 있는데요. 학교 성공과 취직을 직접으로 이루겠습니다.

저는 올해 소원 한 개 밖에 없습니다.
한국어로 요창하게 이야기한다면 제 인생은 완전하게 완벽하겠습니다.
그러므로 한국어 능력을 주셨으면 감사 드리겠습니다.

올해 크리스마스 나무 아래에서 안절부절못하게 기다리겠습니다.

마르타가

기말 시험이 다 됬다ㅠㅠ

2010-12-14T02:39:00.000+01:00

1 down 5 to go...

기말시험 거외 다 됐는데.. 아메리카노- 좋아, 좋아

2010-11-25T14:37:00.002+01:00

Bjork!! 사랑한다!!!

2010-11-15T17:26:00.001+01:00

빼빼로....?

2010-11-11T09:55:00.002+01:00

I don't want to be doctor Fraud here, but is it only me who sees that the shape of Pepero is gighly suggestive? Wouldn't it be a great thesis paper: 'Pepero's phallic shape and it's significance in the Korean society changes in years 1990 - 2010'?

가을이 다 됐다

2010-11-09T16:42:00.001+01:00

I like autumn in Seoul

뭐라고?

2010-11-06T11:04:00.001+01:00

K. (out of the blue):

'You are like a little bambi in a wild forest. you know that people love you because you are pretty and smart and you are enjoying that thinking they are stupid. but out there in real world is totally different. you could be killed at one shoot by someone like this jerk.'

The question is: which jerk was he talking about?

난 미친년이잖아

2010-11-05T14:22:00.002+01:00

It's 11.30 pm and I'm sitting in the university library. I just finished writing up for one case study. I have 3 more ahead this weekend. Together with a morning class I'm TAing for, a private gig in Mokdong, Korean language exam and a major case competition to prepare.
I feel I'm going down with flue my face looks butt ugly (and BBcream is not helping), and I feel fat. It doesn't help I did badly on my midterms and my best buddy in class announced he has to isolate himself from me (as I was later informed but people with higher emotional intelligence: the poor boy fell in love. I still don't understand why I have to get punished for that??), I feel like I'm trying to achieve something that can never be achieved by a white woman. No, sorry: girl.

In short: I want to crawl into a dark whole, together with my stuffed 무, and die. Or at least sleep.I want it to be next weekend.

실감이 났어

2010-11-03T05:49:00.000+01:00

Is it only me?

2010-10-19T07:30:00.003+02:00

I love having people visiting me, especially friends I haven't seen for over a year. And since I'm the perfect housewife of visits, I'm running around crazy trying to give my girl the best of Seoul and Korea (got my monk buddies to take her for a few days to Haeinsa and down South...부럽다). Not an easy thing when you're juggling midterms at the same time.

Be that as it may, as much as I love being the tour guide of the month, I hate having someone staying over at my house. Even for a few hours. A guest puts things away in the wrong spot, makes everything messy and crooked, leaves things lying around (like dirt!). Yep, I'm your Polish version of Anthea Turner. If I don't clean my room COMPLETELY at least once a week I feel guilty to the point of being sick. But what puts me off the most is that when someone comes over, the air changes. I kid you not: every time anyone comes for a visit I can feel the smell changing in my room. Not that my friends smell. I mean they do: differently. And it's something that bothers me in my tiny room. To the point that I ask we got out. Except it's not something I can do with my friend...

Interesting fact: when the photographer came over (to be an abusive but damn hot jerk) the smell stayed the same... And that freaks me out more than my inner Anthea Turner.

PS. Yep, I've got the rubber gloves and everything. I've also got a toothbrush to clean the corners and hard-to-get-spots in the bathroom.

South Korea and Poland?

2010-10-17T03:47:00.001+02:00

CNN seems to think so. Check this out

밉다

2010-10-12T09:41:00.003+02:00

I could write a lovely story about the shy boy who kept on leaving letters on my computer at the library. I could write about the return of the Photographer. I could tell how L., one of the Russian crowd, said she wants to get married. Now. With her boyfriend who forbids her to meet me cause I'm 'too crazy'.

Great stories. But I'm gonna have a little rant about on of my study group teammates. Cause right now contemplating smashing his head on the wall. Several times. Until it's only a bloody mush.

You know those arrogant kids from well-off families, that already know that mummy/daddy will pass on the company to them? Those slick liars who think they're better than you cause they know (and claim to party with) 'VERY FAMOUS PEOPLE'? That just don't give about your group projects cause mama and papa pay for their tuition so really, really are they gonna are about you keeping your GPA (and scholarship)?

Yep, that's home boy for you.

He doesn't do ANYTHING for our group meetings except sit, nap and rephrase what I had said three minutes ago. He's arrogant, disrespectful (even to our group's 아저씨) and thinks I don't understand Spanish (he's Korean but lived most of his life in Latin Amwerica. So you have a macho locked in a Korean man's body). I do, you little prick. So when you were talking with your Latino buddy I know you called me stupid and retarded cause I asked you to come for a group meeting in the morning. The only reason I didn't tell you off is that I know better than tell you off in front of our classmates. Because once I do I won't control myself. And you'll be calling mama for back up.
아저씨 could tell the kid off (he's my age and 아저씨 is... 아저씨) but he won't. Cause kiddo's daddy is a cheobol head and confronting junior is dangerous, even if Junior sweetly slept through his presentation. Our other team member is too soft hearted and Christian. So I'm stuck keeping my anger in. And I'm barely holding on. I've come to hate my group meetings because instead of sharing my awsome business ideas, I have to keep myself from slapping him everytime he does something mean/respectful/immature. I'm the sort of person who tells people everything straight upfront, without beating around the bush. Not exactly brining me popularity. And now I have to stop myself from sucking blood out of the kid. It doesn't help that my teammates appointed me as team leader (that's another laugh). So homeboy's just as angry with me: a woman, his age, is telling him what to do (actually I don't. but since I have to facilitate our work I do sometimes have to command the boys around). It's making that macho in him pissed off.

I've talked with a few people and I have been advised to keep my head down. I'm not promising I can do that.

정신 못 차린다...

2010-10-09T13:11:00.001+02:00

School is bad for you. I was sure my friend is coming to Korea in 2 weeks... turns out she's coming in less than a week. 공부를 그만둬야 하는 것 같아...

The Story of a Little Girl

2010-09-30T11:24:00.002+02:00

Let me tell you a story about a Little Girl. Little Girl is from one of the European Countries. Her family life might not have been ideal, but her parents loved her (even too much one could say). Like every little girl, this Little Girl liked flowers (plants in general - she had quiet a collection), fluffy pink things (she couldn't resist it), puppies and kittens (she dreamed of having a mini boxer), old cartoons (e.g. Moomins), anime (she considered Sailor Moon a good ol' classic) and Siwon from Super Junior (whom she was sure to meet and marry). She considered herself quiet an expert in gender-studies (not only was she a Girl but she had read all those big name books), religion (ha! she even lectured a bewildered Buddhist monk on the principles of the religion he was representing) and ice-skating (she had watched EVERY competition since late 90s. and she could tell that Kim Yuna was slowly deteriorating).
The Little Girl had not been doing well in college. Again, it wasn't because she lacked intelligence - on the contrary: like most Little Girls she was smart and knew a lot of things. She just couldn't cope that 'they' - the professors, school staff, other students were demanding her to file in assignments on time, to get the right documents, to take exams, to come to study group meetings etc. The Little Girl girl considered herself 'a child of the wind'. She had so many brilliant ideas but she wanted to them her way - not with everyone telling her. Having started (and never finished) 5 different majors, she decided to come to Korea. She would, she planned, study fashion design. Not just any clothes - she dreamed of designing figure skater's costumes. Korea wasn't maybe the hub of fashion design (yet), but she had taken Japanese Studies for a few semesters and figured out the two countries cannot be all that diffrent.
She first arrived in Seoul in a chilly January morning of 2009. The trip had been a nightmare for the Little Girl (as she's afraid of flying), but she was finally at her destination. Her daddy dear had sponsored the whole trip, including a 3 month course at one of the best language schools. She completed one level and then, to her dismay, it was time to go back home, to finish her final semester at the Japanese department (and finally get a diploma). She decided to ditch the school and come back to Korea. The Little Girl went to both her mummy dear and daddy dear to ask for money. You see, the Little Girl had never had a real job, so she didn't have much saved up. However the economic situation in the country (the whole world, in fact) was bad, and mummy dear and daddy dear were both struggling to make ends meet. But how could they refuse their only daughter who had such beautiful dream? Besides, who knows, maybe the Little Girl would finally meet a Little Boy who would make her happy? So they gave her the little money they had.
She arrived again this Seoul, but things where not going as smoothly as before. She couldn't afford a comfortable hasuk, so she had to move into a goshiwon, where the room was merely the size of a closet her grandmother had back home. She also couldn't pay for the good language school, so she signed up for a shabby hagwon. Even so, she had barely any money left. Too make things worse, because she couldn't pay up front for her semester at the language school, so she didn't have a visa. Therefore every three months she had to take the train to Busan to catch a ferry for Japan. And that was eating up money as well (but she finally saw Japan! The land of her favorite comic characters)
Fortunately, the Little Girl met two people who, despite being angry and loud and vulger, pitied her and were more than willing to help her. They borrowed her money (from the little allowance they had themselves) when she couldn't pay the rent, they gave her winter clothes (because they couldn't bare the fact that she was walking around in a thin jacket), whenever they could they bought her food (trying to remember she hates eating meat). They also took her out to clubs and showed her the Seoul she never knew - of nightlife, people and fun. Before that she would spend time walking alone around the neighborhood or watching movies in her tiny matchbox room. The new friends also tried introducing the Little Girl to random boys (they kind of agreed with mummy dear and daddy dear that meeting a man would do her good). However, to the Little Girls disappointment, they were trying to get her interested not in young, pretty Siwon-like boys, but in white-collar, serious gentlemen, who (the Little Girl was sure of that) were over thirty. The Little Girl thought this was a bit mean.
In the meantime her friends' friend's friend found her a job. Because of her country of origin, it was an illegal gig at hagwons teaching English. Fortunately, the Little Girl spoke English well enough and could get away with being a native speaker (unlike some of the Russian girls with heavy accents, she could decisive even the actual, real native speakers). Her friends thought this was a bit too risky and shady, but decided that until she applies for university in spring that will have to do. The Little Girl, on the other hand, was delighted with herself. For the first time in her life she had a real job! And she was getting money which she could spend on those adorable Moomin notebooks and Hello Kitty pencils! On top of that she loved the adorable Korean children. And the hagwon owners were so nice to her! They would even offer her kimbab during her breaks.
Spring came, and her friends reminded her it was time to apply for university. The Little Girl felt her heart go down - she despised deadlines, document submissions, making boring portfolios. She missed one deadline, but she made it on time for the application period at one of the women’s universities. As she was a girl, she was sure they would accept her and give her a full scholarship. Maybe even a stipend? She was a bit upset with her friends for being skeptic, especially about her portfolio - what did they know about design and arts anyway? She was sure the professors would acknowledge her raw talent and enthusiasm. One of the friends meaningfully asked why she wouldn't go and meet the professors before applying? To get the feel of the department, to show her projects, try to promote herself. 'This is stupid MBA talk' the Little Girl snorted. But deep inside, although she wouldn't admit it, she was just too scared – she would probably have to talk in Korean.
To her surprise the university rejected her. She sat confused for a bit in her room. How could that be? But she quickly regained her enthusiasm - she hadn't really liked the university's program anyway (at least the short and vague version she found on the English website). She had saved a bit of money and (like daddy dear had told her to) she would go again to the good language school and finish all the levels, continuing with her hagwon job. One of the friends pointed out that maybe it would be better for her to finish her undergraduate studies in her home country before trying again in Korea. The Little Girl didn't listen. She was liking this friend less and less for being a know-it-all and always over concerned about her. She was, after all, on her own now, with her own pay check (in form of a white envelope passed secretly at the subway station by her boss).
She still had to go to Japan every 3 months, but now that she had money it wasn't such a big problem. Or she thought it wasn't. It was beginning of fall and it was yet again time to leave Korea for a day. Early in the morning she went to the train station to catch a train going South. Mummy dear had just sent her a new bank card and she wanted to use it to pay. But it wasn't working! In total panic the Little Girl called mummy dear, but mummy dear was sound asleep, as it was the middle of the night in Little Girl's home country. So she called one of her friends. The friend was busy that day, but having heard that the Little Girl couldn't make the visa run, the friend dropped everything she was doing and rushed to help. The Little Girl would be deported if she didn't go to Japan the next day the latest. The friend thought for a moment and asked whether the Little Girl had the money she had saved for the language school. The Little Girl shook her head and reminded her that a few weeks back they had both lent some money to the other friend who had surgery (because surgeries are expensive in Korea and private insurance requires you to pay up front and then get reimbursed). Since the insurance still hadn't refunded the bills, they still didn't have the money back. The friend thought for a longer moment and asked whether the Little Girl had any friends who would lend her money for the trip. The Little Girl got lost in thought - she didn't really have friends other than the two. But she remembered a woman from her country, who was living in Korea, working for a company and was sure to have money so she called her. Because people from the country are always helpful, more so when living abroad, so the woman eagerly agreed to borrow her money and asked for her bank account. The Little Girl went blank: mummy dear's card wasn't working so she wouldn't have access to the money, and since she didn't have a visa, she couldn't open an account in Korea. The friend, who was listening to the conversation, sighed and told her to give friend's bank account number. 'However', said the generous woman, 'since I'm sending the money from my foreign bank account, they money won't arrive until tomorrow morning.'
The friend started panicking because she had things to do in the morning and wouldn't be able to go to the travel agency with the Little Girl. The Little Girl didn't understand what the problem was - she would take the friend's bank card and buy the plane ticket herself. After all she was using mummy dear's card all the time and no one seemed to care. The friend stared at her in shock - give someone you bank card?! The Little Girl could see this was going nowhere so she did what little girls did best - burst into tears. The friend panicked - the Little Girl crying was a dangerous sign of a dramatic scene (and they were sitting in a coffee shop). So she agreed to give her the card. As long as she would give it back right away after buying the ticket. 'This has been a long day,' the Little Girl told the unusually quiet friend, ‘I think I will have suicidal thoughts tonight'. And she ran off to her goshiwon, before the friend would have a chance to comment.
The next day the Little Girl went to the travel agency and bought the plane ticket. But the departure time was in 2,5 hours so she didn't have time to go to the friend's school to give back the bank card. 'Oh well', she thought, as she got on the bus going to the airport, 'I'll be back tomorrow. In time to meet my adorable students and ruffle their black, gorgeous hair'. She felt a bit guilty about not picking up the friend's urgent phone calls, but she felt that the friend would be angry with her. And what made the Little Girl want to cry the most was people being angry with her.
The flight, as she had dreaded, was horrible. She was so worn out she sent the night, until her return flight, at the airport (but she bought the friend a little candy box with Hello Kitty!). When she returned to Seoul (after seeing an endless list of missed calls), the Little Girl went to the friend's house. The friend was angry - she could tell by the clenched fists and the shacking voice. She gave back the card and the gift and was about to run away, when the friend stopped her.
'Little Girl,' said the friend, 'please tell me. How is it that a 30 year old woman like you couldn't check before hand if her bank account works? How come you didn't book your tickets at least one week earlier? Why did you borrow money to our friend, even though it was obvious that it might be needed during your trip?'
'Why do you never ever plan anything?' the friend continued, 'This is not you home country, where your parents can always take care of you. We are thousands of kilometers away in a foreign country. We have to be responsible for ourselves. Why is it that our other friend and I always have to take care of you? You're older than us! You should be able to take care of yourself at least. After all you are not a child anymore'
'So,' the friend finished off, 'from now on I'm not going to help you the way I used to. I think we shouldn't have done so from the beginning - we should have let you try to get up on your own. Come to think off that, we might have done you more harm playing Mother Theresa. So from now on, grow up, Little Girl. I'm too tired of this and I need a break from you. Otherwise, I might end up going insane'.
The Little Girl was hurt by these words. Especially, by the fact that the friend had mentioned her age out-loud. She didn't understand what the friend wanted from her: grow up? Who wanted to be an adult?! She had seen mummy dear and daddy dear as well as other adults and she could see they were unhappy. She didn't want to be unhappy! She wanted to live in her goshiwon room, with her plants and mini boxer, go for walks with her Siwon-boyfriend and buy the pretty pink things they had in shops in Korea. She called the other friend (who was now living in another, far away city) and told, sobbing, him how mean the friend had been. The other friend got angry (Little Girl was always aware he had daddy instincts towards her) and said he'd call the friend. Later he called her back: 'I got into a big fight with the friend' said the other friend. The Little Girl could tell he was more said than angry. He and the friend had been very close, intimate friends. The Little Girl even envied them their friendship. And now they broke off all contact.
The days went by. The Little Girl continued her illegal job at the hagwon and started taking classes at the language school again. She would talk to the other friend sometimes on the phone, but he had his new life in a new city and would talk about his excessive sex life (the Little Girl was always intimidated but sex talk - after all Siwon would never talk about such things!) rather than listen to the Little Girl's stories about puppies she saw on the street or about how her students make adorable sounds when they try to speak in English. She would sometimes see the friend on the street, rushing to her university classes or talking with some strange people. But the Little Girl was too scared to approach her.
The new university application period was drawing near and the Little Girl started wandering if she even had a chance of getting accepted. 'Maybe' she wondered, 'I should do as the friend said: finish my studies at home and come back better prepared.' She felt the unwelcome feeling of dread spill in. And she turned on the goshiwon TV. To her joy, they were replaying old episodes of Sailor Moon.

skinny fat btich

2010-09-28T17:56:00.002+02:00

I don't usually comment on my blog what other people write about on theirs. I didn't even do it when one of the them wrote a nice little post about me. These my rants about being angry with the world, other people have theirs. And since this blog (unlike my Polish one) is not involved in discussing any big social issues, I don't see why I should make it more than it really is: a rant scrapbook.
That being said I have observed an interesting thing on expat blogs written by girls (namely those being hot on Korean boys, but not only). That is there is, after all, a difference between how European, Asian and American girls see the world. The thing is it is not only something I see on blogs. Its an everyday thing, here in Sinchon and back when I lived in Cheongju. Its the way we see ourselves.
Let's start with the fact that we, European girls, are very obsessed about our image. In different ways (you won't see a French girl pimp herself out like a Russian girl), but still... but what's more we demand of other girls to do the same. So when we see another girl 'that needs working on' we don't beat around the bush. Sometimes in her face sometimes not. It's mean, not nice and frankly sometimes they could just shut it up. When I worked in a bar in London, I pudgy looking Cokcney chick told me that I am a fat Jewish bitch (I'm neither, just so you know). Yeah, it kind of stung. But than again together with my middle school gang I teased one of our colleagues just because she was bigger than average in our class. The thing is this doesn't stay in school. Its true, once we grow up we don't really tease and swarm in someone's face that their body's not ideal. But we do, oh so eagerly, behind their backs. Its are European hobby to comment random passersby. And most of the time it concerns their body shape. I see that Korean girls are pretty much the same. With that difference that they'll tell you that you could skim off some fat here and there 'if you want to find a Korean boyfriend (do I?). Now that I said that, I guess only adjummas would say that to a complete stranger. The American crowd... is there some sort of over the top political correctness going on? I remember vaguely reading an article that calling someone 'fat' is a VERY very bad thing. One of the blogger girls was almost eaten alive for saying that a women she saw with a Korean man had 'a face of a toad'. Mean, yes. Not very polite - sure. But most of write harsher (although usually more constructive) things about the Korean society or just about random strangers. Bah, talking of which Korean netzines are known to go way over the board with such stuff.
I'm just wondering out-loud how far are we allowed to go? Is the stuff I wrote about the Russian girls too much (but hey! they agree! at least the ones I know)? Is calling someone a toad on your personal blog being mean and stuck up? So how much CAN we write on our blogs? Aren't they supposed to be diaries? Or are they so public by now that you have to think twice before you have a little rant?

It's 1.30 am and I just finished two reports due by midnight. Clap your hands and say 'Yeah'!

A little pink moment

2010-09-19T04:38:00.003+02:00

Things are going crazy again and I'm living off Hello Kitty waffles.

There's two cafes: one in Sinchon (between Ehwa and Sinchon Rotary) and in Hongdae. Cheap too, mind you.

사랑한다 연세

2010-09-14T03:43:00.002+02:00

You now I'm cynical. You know I'm mean and laugh at people when they make a fool out of themselves. I'm the kid sitting at the back of the class sniggering, always the smart ass.

But it turns out that behind that cynical facade I have passion. That passion made me jump, dance and sing for over 15 hours on Saturday.

Ever want to see/feel something awesome please, please come to the Yonsei Univ vs Korea Univ games (연고전) next year. Pics from the soccer game on my Polish blog.

I'm so sleepy cause I spent the whole night being a superhero

2010-09-06T10:16:00.002+02:00

Ain't dead. Yet.

During the last month I realized how little I have been doing for the past year. Believe me, 6 hours of Korean class per day is NOTHING compared to 6 hours of MBA courses a day (not even mentioning that after these classes there was homework, group assignments, studying for tests etc). Now things are back to normal, that is we're not spending 15 hours a day in school. Really, I have free time for the first time in a month and I'm at loss what to do. So I found myself a little 아르바이트 (to pay the bills) and decided to compete in case study project, cause I like the sound of 6 million won prize.
Come to think of that I'm liking it when things get so intense I cannot even scratch my head. Too bad I also forget to eat. My mum wouldn't approve that.
I'm learning a lot. From my classmates (a lot of 아저씨s from big companies but also a lot of young people like myself. literally from all over the world), professors (le creme de la creme of the university).
You know... last year I thought I was really mature and grown up compared to 2008. Now I realize, what I child I was compared to now. That being said, I haven't given up on having fun. I'm just aware now that there's a time and place for everything.
So yes, I am enjoying living in 신촌. I love the fact that I live 15 minutes by foot from 홍대정문 (not loving that it's turning into 이태원II). I can't wait that 압구정 and 강남 are a taxi ride away. On weekends. On weekdays I spent minimum 8 hours in school studying for class, doing homework, managing my team (yeah, with my big mouth I ended up bossing around 3 older guys...), thinking up business strategies (for the contest)...
Life's tough. But it's so good ㅋㅋ

Back in town

2010-07-26T12:36:00.003+02:00

Since Saturday I'm a woman of Seoul

Adele

2010-07-15T17:20:00.000+02:00

Summer in the city

2010-07-05T13:26:00.002+02:00

Nervous before the start of the new semester in August. Can I pull it through with more experienced classmates than myself? Me, a kid from nowhere? Probably have to give up most of my party life. Not that I had much for the last few months. And no summer holidays. No winter holidays as well. Hello, grownup life.

In other news: I think I went on a date. Dunno, the guy wasn't clear about it. He's M.'s good friend, so I was told not to pull out any shit. Anyway, nice nerdy boys don't turn me on. Although according to Y. they are the best investment...At least had a good dinner. And don't go for Knight and Day. Worst movie I've seen this year. I do however recommend seeing BBC's Being Human.

I'm not a big fan of myself but than I do something that makes me think I'm awsome

2010-06-21T17:01:00.002+02:00

...like rent a cozy room in Sinchon for a reasonable price without any deposit. Thank you my wannabe-lawyer friends, JC and Y. We are the best negotiations team. EVER.

Them Cheongju Blues

2010-06-14T16:21:00.002+02:00

Friday night, as I was doing 빈둥빈둥 in my room, M. calls me all happy and drunk from Homohill. At the end of the drunken rumble he throws in: 'oh, and the Photographer is leaving for three months in Europe'. Now. The Photographer and I are not happening. But we do have mutual friends, we are the residents at Homohill. So we bump into each other. And we fight mostly. And than do all those naughty things you guys are dying to know about. And after that we don't talk for the next few weeks. And frankly what is he? A physical education graduate, currently unemployed photographer (I do wonder where he got the money for the trip...)? A person who enjoys pushing me to the limits by hurting? Still, it kind of stings he's going. There's only been him for the last 6 months... all the other nice boys: JC's muscled up buddy (majoring in... Hebrew), M's tall, nice looking friend who plans to become Seoul's major... they don't bring on the thrill, if you know what I mean. But than again maybe it's time to go out again and hit the scene. Let's hope the Photographer finds a nice, quiet girl in Europe. Personally, I would go for French, but I hear the Swedish are worth it.

I'm moving up to Seoul next month. Destination: Sinchon.

Je pense a lui

2010-06-06T17:33:00.000+02:00

마침내 행운이 왔다고 생각해...

2010-05-19T16:04:00.002+02:00

...and after the last exam I'm off to Busan for the 석가탄신날.
Got an unofficial call from one of the unis. So it's certain that i'll be moving up to Seoul come September~~.

Epic faux-pas

2010-05-16T15:32:00.003+02:00

Imagine you're sitting for an interview for a very prestigious program in a very prestigious university. The professors are loving and you are rocking the show. You answer every question smartly and with great confidence. Why, you even manage to impress them with your Korean.

And then your phone rings. Because you are a stupid idiot and forgot to even think about turning it off before walking in for the interview.

The rest of the interview is just as great but you know you left a lasting impression of an unprofessional klutz and retard. And you're not gonna like yourself for a very long time...

Edit: To get my mind of my epic faux pas - back to the 90s:

I used to be a fan of 딸기 우유 but now 바나나 is looking attractive...

2010-05-04T16:24:00.000+02:00

Never again

2010-05-02T16:37:00.002+02:00

will I mix soju, beer, gin&tonics, vodka and the whole cocktail menu at Club Answer (shor story I challenged the bartender, and the manager was there to here so I got a whole lotta free drinks to judge).

I come from a country which prides itself with it's drinking abilities, invented the vodka (although the Russians and the Ukrainians don't agree) has an impressive beer industry and countless liquor recipes. But even with an iron Polish stomach feels dead the next day after having the mixture I had last night.

Oh and one more thing: my dear friends. Next time we go out don't let me drink. Anything. Cause I get very stupid on booze. And horny. And that leads me to do very unhygienic, unladylike things which I would never want my mum to know about. Or the photographer for that matter.

My Roomates and mine new guilty pleasure

2010-04-30T18:48:00.002+02:00

Damn, LMH is sexy on legs! Don't get me wrong: Korean dramas are as cheesy as ever. But this a language practice, all right? Right!??!

PS. And well I've never seen so much of a kiss in a drama. I mean they're making out?! OMG!

The Girls with glasses

2010-04-28T05:15:00.001+02:00

Found via The Clothes Horse. Awsome

I Am A Girl - The Girls With Glasses Theme Song from The Girls With Glasses on Vimeo.

An Education

2010-04-27T15:22:00.001+02:00

My Chinese classmates

2010-04-26T17:27:00.002+02:00

I'm still frustrated with my slow progress in Korean. That's what happens if you're an overachiever - every little failure just gets you down. And if I didn't have enough fun in my life, it's the university application period. Pretty much the rest of my life depends on how much the universities will love me despite a failed TOPIK exam. So yes, life sucks pretty much at the moment.

The only reason I really bother getting of bed is because of my Chinese classmates. Actually there's also my Philippino roommate in my class. By other than that it's all Chinese kids. And I'm their 언니/누나. They are the most adorable dorks, goofing around and trying to teach my and K. Chinese swearwords (yep, when I cannot take anymore Korean grammar I go for learning 'fuck' in Chinese).

Anyway, as much as I can easily remember and use Korean names, Chinese names are way out of my league. I think I mentioned this before, but I make put names for my classmates that sound like their names but also like something I can remember (e.g. 'Chuj'). It kinda makes me feel bad, because I'm not a big fan of using English names to begin with. You have one name, and unless you have a specific reason (e.g. undercover spy) there is no reason for you to make up a new one, just so the foreigners can have it easy. Be that as it may, Chinese names are a killer. Or Chinese in particular (I've been sitting for 8 months now in class where all the background conversation is in Chinese and apart from a few bad words I haven't picked up anything!). The previous semesters I was the only non-Chinese in the class, so I couldn't really share my witty nicknames with anyone. Now however, K. is with me and we're having a blast.

For example your 반장 is a 18 year old (Western age) boy, the hight of a young, skinny giraffe. He's a one man show, that boy. I don't think he even knows that he's being funny. Anyway, his name sounds like... John Wayne. When we told him this he almost cried in joy (I was pleasantly surprised that a kid like him would who John Wayne is).

Then there is the Discoball. I think her English name Cher. But seriously. If you'd ever see her you'd say she's a natural Discoball. Why? Cause she dresses as if she's about to hit the club. In 강남 or 압구정 (posh area). I've never seen her wear the same garment or shoes twice. Now, as you can see from the links on the left, I'm all about fashion myself. I mean 'we rather go out naked than dress badly', right? But to my Korean classes (6 hours a day) I go for jeans and sneakers. When I was feeling particularly rebellious, I even went in my pajamas. Anyway, I go for something comfy and casual. Six hours in killer heels and shinny glittery minidress? Kinds raises an eyebrow. Other than that she's a sweet girl with an adorable crush on our Azerbajijani friend.

We have Erin. Now back in my elementary school days, I had a very good friend named Erin. So this name is reserved for people I really like. Erin is a bit tomboish, that is has short hair and wears pants. And that is enough for the boys to tease her about looking like a boy (there is a Chinese word for that but, damn, I forgot it). But she's a sweet and kind girl, who introduced me to Chinese punk (kind of reminds of the time when I was into Russian ska - couldn't understand a word but it sure rocked my world). So Erin became Erin.

Apart from George, the only Chinese student who's older than K and I (and he's real name really sounds like 'George', I swear!), the other kids don't really stand out of the crowd. There is Joe, Heidi (Klum), Long Jane (again: that's how the Chinese name sounds), Long John Silver, Carol, Shaneice (I don't now where that came from. K and I were on some sort of rant). The kids are thrilled and K. and I have made our lives slightly easier. And we now have one more thing to chuckle about.

On other notes, I decided to be civil and texted the Photographer with the standard small talk. Imagine my surprise when he immediately texted back. That bridge is long sunken, but I need a friend who knows more about cameras than I do. (I hope that doesn't sound dirty? cause it's past my bed time and I dunno).

ㅠㅠ

2010-04-20T17:47:00.001+02:00

feeling miserable about myself.
One thing I won't ever do is learn Korean. So why bother getting out of bed tomorrow...

My roommate

2010-04-16T18:08:00.002+02:00

Is trying to boil me alive. No kidding! Just like my previous roomie, this one thinks that closing the windows and setting the room temperature to unbearable high level is the thing to do. Hello? we have spring? why would we want to boil ourselves in a stuffy room?

Other than that she is a great improvement. The previous one was a whole lotta problems. For one she was older, my 언니, so she thought she could boss me around. And make me do her English homework. When I told that I can HELP her with her homework, but there is no way I'm gonna do it for her, she stopped talking to me for 3 weeks.
The other thing was her talking through her sleep. A lot. And yelling. And sleepwalking. When I woke up once in the middle of the night to see her sitting on the edge of my bed. I nearly died of heart attack, I kid you not.
And she talked about her boyfriend. All that time. Mostly about their 1000-day anniversary. She talked a lot in general. Now don't get me wrong: I'm a sociable animal, but when I'm in my room it's my 'alone time'. But she just kept on babbling, excepting me to answer her...So when she stopped talking to me for 3 weeks I was genuinely relieved.

New roomie is my 동생 so she's not aspiring to show me who's the queen of the room. She's quiet, studies a lot, cleans after herself. Except for liking unbearably hot temperatures, there is nothing wrong with her. Although she has a boyfriend I don't have to listen to endless stories about him (actually, apart from the fact that he lives in Seoul, I don't know anything about him). Oddly enough, despite 방친구 being quiet, I'm bonding with her more than with the previous bitchy one. We watch dramas together almost every evening, we go out for movies, she teaches me 국제 어휘, I check her English homework. Perfect!

__________
As for other things: I was just told that my childhood friend died. She fainted. And didn't wake up. Is it normal for me not to feel anything? Because I should be at least sad, right?
And I'm playing a risky game with my career. I'll either win everything or lose horribly....

The beast in Apkujong

2010-04-11T13:45:00.003+02:00

After endless weekends at Itaewon (the Russians like foreigner hangouts and the gays like guess what), I managed to convince the crowd to change locations. And not to Hongdae (another night hangout place for us) but no other than posh Apkujong. A bit help there R. (rock and roll K-girl all in for whit nerdy boys who enjoy fine arts and doggy style), who promised to take us to a cool place.
The Polish crowd (M. and a new addition P.- the Pole who speaks better Korean than most Koreans, as well as me - representing the Polish working class women) met out early on to hang out, rant about our miserable lives, make politically incorrect jokes and swear our asses off just because no one understands us. We were working on our first sake bottle when O. to tell us, in a very grim voice that the Polish government plane just crushed killing everyone on board. Among that the president and the first lady, the vice chair of the parliament, the head of the national bank and a handful of other people who run the country. Now in what insane movie scenario does this ever happen? And it's even more unbelievable when you're sitting 7000 km from the place of the tragedy. I know it sounds crazy and rude, but we started laughing about it. But seriously what would you do? Don't get me wrong: I wasn't a big fan of the president and his cabinet (very right-winged), but still even I, the cold-hearted, am moved by this. So we drank and laughed.
R. took us to Platoon Kunsthalle. Good music, awesome design (it was like rockin' some of those indie clubs in Berlin or Amsterdam). And mostly foreigners. Since the Russian Krassivajas got quickly engaged in conversation (and drinks) with some hairy vikings ( the crowd, oddly enough, was mostly German speaking), it looked like a night of babysitting my two whinning gays ('I don't like it here' 'Too much 외국s' 'too expensive', 'my curst wurst is too soggy', 'this guy?! so bleh' 'did you that girls ass? it was the size of my 기숙사방' etc) and waiting for the first bus for my countryside home.
But than walked a K-guy with his buddies and I knew the boys will have to entertain themselves for the rest of the evening. Turns out I still haven't lost my good judgment of talented, good looking guys and my magic works as good as ever. So the beast has been fed and I can focus on other things like getting into a good uni, not a crappy one in the middle of nowhere.
So why do I have the urge to text the Photographer? (I'm NOT gonna text him because 1)I am a human therefore I think before I do and I can control my urges. most of the time 2) what do I text him? can't even write him a joke, cause he's not gonna get it.

Oh, and please watch this show. It's deadly ridiculous.

Kalina's on my mind....

2010-04-07T14:12:00.004+02:00

To be like Kalina Jędrusik

2010-04-05T15:58:00.002+02:00

In the communist Poland, back in the 60s and 70s, she was what Marlyn Monroe was: a sex symbol.
Unlike MM tough, she seemed a much happier person. But than again back in the 60s/70s/80s Polish people seemed to be (ironically) a lot happier.

Lately learning a lot about getting things done in Korea. Generally knowing someone who knows someone who knows the guy on top helps a lot. A LOT

The photographer

2010-03-28T15:16:00.002+02:00

Since this affair is over (before it really started) I probably should write something about him. Like how good looking he was (ex-basketball player...), how awesome he was in bed, how we had the same interests (photography among others), how he liked all my gay friends cause they were his buddies as well (now so y'know: liking my gay buddies is important to me. they come with the package), how he would correct my Korean (unfortunately he had the southern 사투리 which is sometimes just too hard to get), how he could be a gentleman. How I kind of fell for him.

But that's all over, so what's the point?

L'amant (1992)

2010-03-28T07:29:00.002+02:00

Into the sun

2010-03-26T15:36:00.000+01:00

내일은 내일의 태양이 뜬다....

2010-03-24T13:29:00.001+01:00

Why it was worth getting away to Busan for the weekend

2010-03-22T15:00:00.001+01:00

요즘 울 뿐이야....

2010-03-17T14:46:00.002+01:00

i'm very bad a accepting failures...

Why every girl wants to be like Audrey

2010-03-11T15:44:00.001+01:00

Just let it loose and dance

Think Pink!

2010-03-02T05:52:00.001+01:00

The Russian Girls

2010-03-01T03:50:00.004+01:00

Oh, how we love to hate them.

American, Aussie, Kiwi, Korean, Polish... we all bound together when a Russian girl walks into the bar.
Why?

It all starts with the looks. Russia is a big, big country with people coming in all shapes and sizes, but a stereotypical girl from the European part of the Federation will be tall (taller than Korean girls that is), slim if not skinny (about 80% of all the Russian girls I know, and mind you I know more than you, did ballet or figure skating when they were young. Now mind you, to do those sports you have to be size 0 if not less), big eyes (that alone makes kboys drool), blond hair (most of them at least), small face. But that's not why we loath them, right? I mean the description alone would fit a few Aussie, Polish or other European chicks I know (sorry US girls, not you though...).

Because what comes along with a Russian girl is her style. I heard a few call it the 'cheap whore look'. Ha, we even have this saying in Poland 'to look like a Russian prostitute'.
And it's not that they are prostitutes (yea, there are a few Russian prostitutes in Korea, but mostly you get all the variety from South East Asia) - they're mostly students (oh: Russians usually speak very good Korean. All in all they're language education is really remarkable. And yes, when they speak English they have the accent. But bet you their grammatical correctness is way better than most of the English teachers' here). Oh yeah, there used to be a Russian ghetto in Iteawon but they moved to better districts and got replaced by Nigerians and all the Muslim folks.
Anyway this is what a typical Russian girls wears. All the time, even is she's just going to the 7/11 next door. On a side note: the look tends to become more 'Korean' if the girl stays here longer than 6 months. Anyway, some things you should know about R-chicks:
1. Heels. Big heels. Like 5 inches. All the time. It came as a big shock when one of my R-girls turned up wearing converse. I nearly fainted, I did.

2. Dresses and skirts. Short, tight fitting. If a girl comes from a remote part of Russia (and they have a lot of that) she'll go for something like leopard print. You rarely see a R-girl in pants. And if so they are super duper tight and made out of black satin.

3. coats. When it was still winter here and it got super cold, did the the R-chicks put on warm coats like the rest of us (even K-girls)? No! Because for a R-girl looking good comes before being warm. An exception is a fur coat. Now most R-girls can't afford them, but I've seen a few running around with dead animals on them.

4. Make-up. A lot. Gosh, they beat K-girls when it comes to putting a lot of stuff on your face. And those freshly out of Russia tend to go overboard with eyeliner and red, red lipstick. Than someone (me) tells them they look like a nightmare and they cut down a bit.

5. Diet. A Russian girl is constantly on diet, even if she already weighs 45 kg (167 cm). This has to do with what all East/Central European women have in common: we are brought up to please men. And everybody knows boys (at least the Slavs) like skinny girls with big bobs, who cook, clean and always look fabulous and ready for sex. You think women have it tough in Korea? They do, but so do we. Yep, we are now allowed to talk about women's rights and feminisms etc (but it still is treated as a big joke). But nothing really happens to us. The glass ceiling, patronizing and being virtually brought up to be an exclusive prostitute. Slav moms don't mean to do this but it's the only thing they know: a woman is to serve her man.

6. Boys. There are R-girls who go for K-boys (mostly Korean Studies students) and those who go for the rest of the batch. Now this might surprise you, but despite looking strong and bitchy (literally like a dominatrix in some cases), it's mostly R-chicks you here about getting into some nasty business with boys. That's because under the mask, they are really scared naive girls, who trust a guy and then end up getting into all sorts of trouble. Take E. E. came last year for the scholarship. She started of on a language course in Deagu where she met R. (we, that is K. and I, call him 'Czornyj Prinz'. yes, we're racist sometimes) from Ghana. R. is anything from attractive but E (ex-ballet dancer, currently working with some model agency in Seoul) saw something there. And they hit it of. Now R. is super religious-Catholic, in a I-pray-all-the-time way. E. is not religious. Russian (and all the East block for that matter) girls may be, according to statistics, religious. But believe me, last time most of us ever said a prayer was in elementary school. This is what happens if you force religion on people, folks. Anyway, after sometime E. tells me and K., another R-buddy of mine, that she's been praying recently. K.'s jaw dropped: 'E., I've known you for 10 years and you never talked God, let alone prayed!'. Apparently R. told her she has to pray if she wants to be with him. R. may be the Jesus guy, but that's not stopping from shagging E. And he likes rough sex. Now E. is a petite girl and she told that us that fucking R is painful. When she tells him she doesn't feel like doing it, he yells at her and says that it's her duty to let him fuck her. Now most of us would be already out the door. But E. just let's me have his way. She even tells him she's sorry. And the boy sure has power. According to E. sex 4 times a day is a standard in his case. Ouch.

7. Being friends with other girls. R-girls usually stick together or with girls from other East European countries (Belarus, Ukraine, the post-soviet republics), who tend to be similar in many ways. WE, Polish girls, usually don't really like them at first. In Poland we're not ti big on Russians, with all the history and stuff. Besides, we get pissed when we get taken for Russians, cause we know it means they we're taken for hookers. And it's not that we even look trashy! But at the end of the day we end up bounding with R-girls. It's probably all that common European heritage. Since there is a big Korean minority in Russia, you do see sometimes Rgilrs hanging out with K-crowd. Add to the fact that most Russian girls here are fluent in Korean. So once they get over their peculiar look, Koreans like them (that or they think they're whore and are being nice to get a one night stand. Be careful boys! A lot of them may be 'easy' but there's just as many who are almost like Virgin Mary when it comes down to 'that stuff). For some reason chicks from English speaking countries tend to hate R-girls. Recently a Texas girl living on the same floor as E. and K. came up to them saying she 'cannot accept this trashy look'. She requested they dress differently. Now, Russian girls may be stupid when it comes to boys, but they don't take any shit from other chicks. So E. laughed and told her that she requests she lost some weight.

I tried to figure out what's with the English speaking teachers/students hating R-girls. Seriously? I don't know. I mean I used to loath them. Whenever a R-girl walked into a club I felt like I wanted to pull her hair out. Not that boys were swarming around her (mind you, I get enough attention without trying). I just hated her for no apparent reason. But than I met E. and K. and a few more and I cooled off. I recently felt like punching another Polish girl, not a Russian. No that is and improvement!

So girls, accept that R-girls are part of the scene her.

We luv'em gay boys

2010-02-24T16:43:00.002+01:00

No really. I've just realized that most (like 90%) of my guy friends (that is most of my friends. girls don't really like me much) is gay. And in most bars and clubs on Homohill they know my name. Gosh, I know most of the owners of these places. And all the regular guests.

Not that I mind. But seriously. You see, compared to Korea, the gay scene barely exists. Well, it exists and is getting big, bu it's still mostly underground. Not a wise thing to walk around openly gay in an ultra-catholic country. So most of the boys are still very much in the closet. They not only keep it secret from their parents (the parents generation, except my folks how are a whole different story, is very much against homosexuals. I mean they are all for it. But as long as it's somewhere far from their home. And not in the family. My friend's daddy, a MP from a very liberal party, who supports homosexual rights, kicked his son out of the house when he announced he likes boys). They don't tell even their friends. I don't want to go into details but it all comes to that Poles are individualists who don't trust each other. We're a truly a merry nation, we are.

I know being gay in Korea is tough. But believe me, it's a walk in the sun compared to what the Polish boys go through.

Just before I came down here, it became extremely fashionable among the Warsaw Bohemian girls (yeah, I hanged out with that crowed. White collars from my college didn't turn me on) to have a gay BFF. Too much Sex and the City and everyone wants their own Stanford. A man you can walk go to the movies with, talk shit and who'll tell if the dress matches your shoes. I laughed, really. Those silly trends... It's like everyone wanted a tamagoichi in elementary school (I had one from Korea and boy was I a queen of the classroom for a month).
And then it turns out I have a whole army of Stanfords without meaning to.

There is M., a fellow Pole studying with me, who's your 100% testosterone guy, who yells and bullies you, but when you're in your arm pits in trouble, he's there for you.
Meet C, the world's prettiest Italian (no kiddin', the boy is smoking hot). Under the mask of a super model, he's actually a shy and scared boy full of complexes. Needs a pep talk every time we go out to homohill.
S., who calls me noona. You foreign girls lovin' K-boys, you'd drool over S. He's sex on legs, that 19 year old boy. And he knows how to spoil his noona. He goes with me to museums, theaters and chic cafes. No kidding: a male version of my little sister! And his so innocently adorable. Whenever M. talks sex in front of S., I feel like covering his ears...He also introduced me to the Photographer, in the hopes that noona will finely settle down with a decent boy. Well, at least he tried, bless his darling heart.
O., another Korean. Oh, how he used to remind of McSexy at first. He's the Homohill heartbreaker, the hot brutal guy that leaves the boys crying in pain but begging for more. But at the end of the day, he's sweet enough to call me and ask me if I had dinner.

And the rest of the crowd.

And then recently like half of my friends back in Poland (including my high school crush..hahah) came out of the closet. And now I'm apparently the straight Stanford of Homohill. I'm the mother, sister, brother, BFF, shrink, motivation counselor, stylist, tour guide....and I don't really mind.

No really. Them boys, I don't know where I'd be without them.

So till next week, when I rock the Homohill again.

boys, booze and all the fun

2010-02-22T16:37:00.003+01:00

Which I'm not part of this month.
I have a Korean exam in 6 days. Which will pretty much decide my future in Korea. And since I'm ambitious I signed up for the intermediate (중즙) level. Which means I live and breath Korean grammar and vocabulary all this month. Once this is over I promise to be a better blogger.

Apart from all that.

1. The blah
Hooked up with one of the dating sites' guys. I think he's one of the girls who blog about dating/hooking up with Korean guys boyfriend. Well, not really feeling guilty about it. Since in bed he was... mediocre. Thankfully he got the message and we haven't talked since.

2. Dating sites
The whole hooking up/meeting guys through the web didn't really work for me. For one, I have been too busy to answer e-mails. And well... I found it a bit boring. I'm still talking with a few guys and, who knows, I might actually go ahead and meet them. On the other hand there must be something wrong with them if they put up this long with my slow replies and constant msn absences, no?

3. I wanna be a bad boy
Some of the foreign ladies interested in Korean boys have had some pretty nasty experiences. I was gonna have a full lecture about that. Or two. But I thought better. All I have to say is this: as the Korean once said, Korean man, apart from being Korean, are like men all over the world. They are not sweet, adorable toy boys, who behave like K-drama. They can be violent, they can be mean, they can hurt, manipulate. Do all the nasty stuff guys anywhere do. So all the precautions on takes when hooking up with guys should be applied here as well.

4. He's not that into you
Reading they K-boy dating blogs, I've discovered something that many of you probably already knew. Korean boys hook up with foreign girls to experience something new. Mostly in bed. And apart from sex they are rarely interested in anything else. C'mon. Would you want to seriously date foreign girl, that doesn't get our culture, you don't really understand hers, and you keep on bumping about little things? that would not have been an issue i she was a Korean girl? Don't get me wrong. There are Korean boys out there who will eventually end up with foreign girls. But they are few and far apart. That just so you girls don't set your hopes high.

5. About not speaking Korean
Speaking of culture differences, I've been pissed off. At foreign girls. And not just the bloggers, but also the local Cheongju chicks from US and UK. Most of them are foreign teachers on one-year contract, but quiet a few have been here at least few years. And they speak less Korean then my fellow scholarship holders after a week of Korean language course. I know you're working, but let's admit it: you're not spending all day at work. And usually you have weekends off. If you're not going to hit the gym (no offense, but some of the girls I've seen here in Cheongju scared me. I'm not one of the anorectic Russians, I have some body I'm proud of. And a few plus-size friends. But there is such a thing like dressing up to your body type... please! skip the tight, short dresses with parallel strips!) than go and sign up for a language course. And no, just picking up a few words and phrases from your current dates won't work. I know: I've been there. Go and sign up for a language course. They re not super expensive (and I know you make more money than I get scholarship) and will save you life in Korea. I can recommend a few good 어학원s in Seoul. Korean boys, however awkward they sound, at least make an effort to speak English. Do you even try to speak Korean? As in having a full conversation? It takes time to get there, but at least try. Not to mention, that knowing Korean will open you up to all those hot studs who don't speak ANY English.

6. The Photographer
Wanted to write about him. But than I thought better. Another story that probably won't work out. Good thing I have the exam to take my mind off things.

Sorry about the spelling mistakes and outrageous punctuation. I was translating all this in my head from Korean. Yep, I've officially gone mental...

Because I have an exam tomorrow

2010-01-06T13:42:00.002+01:00

I signed up for 2 dating sites. It's something I've never done because I firmly believed that the best way to meet guys (or people for that matter) is in real life. And I'm still suspicious when it come to Internet (probably because I'm a silly girl from a post-communist country). On the other hand: in my case meeting boys real life means we're out of the club in 30 min after we met, looking for the nearest motel. And we usually never meet again. So with the new decade now here to stay, I decided to try something new.
So far:
I nearly gave up when writing my self-intro. I'm bad at writing or talking about myself. Mostly because I'm either boasting too much (a side effect of doing too much job/application interviews) or I beat myself down (and I sound like a typical Korean girl: 'I'm fat, I'm ugly and butt-stupid'). So I went for something with an edge. I don't know where that'll take me.
The boys (or should I say male) have been a big disappointment. Either they are old, ugly as hell (I appreciate contemporary art but if you look like 'connect-the-dots' than forget it), religious (I come from an ultra-Catholic country: flash 'Roman Catholic' at me and I become aggressive), want to marry (eh?) and apart from one (hot, hot pic) are all a no-no.
Konglish. I don't mind it, mostly because I speak the opposite (Engrean?). And I know I'm laughed at by Koreans when I try to communicate in their language (but believe me: even when I'm sweating, forgetting the grammar, mixing up the vocab and forms, I never EVER switch to English. I wanna learn that lingo if it's the last thing I do). But seriously I cannot help but laugh when I see this: if you are open to me, i hope to share them with you.. And no, I have no idea what 'them' are.
Oh and one guy wrote that...I'm handsome...ugh...I mean I don't look like ANTP but still...

On other news, I've been meeting on and off with a bartender. From one of the gay bars at Homohill. Obviously he's not gay (very NOT). I hooked up with him mostly because I had a bet with a friend I wouldn't be able to take him home for the night. I won a fancy dinner :).
McTender (McGay was just...wrong) is sweet and super nice (helped out when my friend was in a tight spot a few days back). But... bed wise: I've had better. And I'm a spoiled girl so unless things improve...also he works on weekends until 6 am. The only time I can come up to Seoul is on the weekends. And staying up until 6 am is not something I want to do every weekend. So anyway, I'm kind of revealed he's not calling tonight. Maybe he got tired that I don't speak super slang Korean (I barely speak the language! when was I supposed to master the teenage lingo!?).
So that's that. Going back to learning my presentation by heart (we love Korean teaching methods..)

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T05:29:00.000+01:00

The weekend in the country

2009-12-18T19:55:00.002+01:00

It was starting to get disturbing. The fact that I couldn't walk into any club in Hongdae or Gangnam without walking out with a guy. And mind you, it wasn't that I was drunk (pretty much sober really). It's the beast inside me that took over.
And don't get me wrong. All these guys were good looking, decent fellas who should be someones' boyfriends. But instead they had a nighty with a teasying white girl.
So it has to stop. That's why I'm giving myself time off from Seoul. The thing is, back in my head I'm wondering who to invite to an apartment I was granted for Christmas...

and than there is this empty feeling...

conscience

2009-12-10T13:53:00.002+01:00

It freaks me out that my conscience talks to me in McSexy's voice. Nor am I too thrilled that he appears in my dreams to tell me off for whatever silly thing I'm doing. Out of all the people I know he doesn't have the right. Seriously, my mum would be less embarrassing!

I had a rather promising text exchange with McFitness, but now I think I could blown off again...

I haven't died

2009-12-06T15:00:00.004+01:00

Although there have been moments when I wished I have. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. McSexy is out of my life for good (I even erased his phone number from my diary in case I get drunk and stupid) there was a Gangnam hairdresser, but I ditched him (no really interesting and he didn't want to do anything about my hair). One can say that I spent November living like a nun. Either I was too ill to leave my room on weekends or I had teakwondo tournaments (I was too sick to compete, and I was the crappiest cheerleader ever. So sorry, Team!).
I've been cleaning up my life a bit, trying to get my goals back in focus. I'm still confused about what to do (playing the applications to the unis), but I've found a person who's been motivating me a lot the last few weeks. It's not that I'm getting ready answers to my problems and doubts, but somehow talking over things makes me think straight. No all I need to get my confidence back. Somehow each time I face a new challenge I go all shy and scared. Time to fight...
Also deleted some boys (apart from MS, but that one was a tough decision). McBig lost it when he asked me if I can come to his place (outskirts of Seoul) at 6 am. McCar turned out to be a dull jerk, who brings his butt ugly friend along. The others... just made them vanished.

Out of interesting things that happened. The Busan guy from last year came and visited me. Actually he was visiting friends in a nearby town. But he first came other to Cheongju. We met after my classes, had a dinner and then he announced he's gotta go to his friends... So we spent less than 1,5 hour together. No sex, no kisses, no touching, no nothing. Don't get me wrong: it was fun talking to him. Although he sounded kind of sad and tired (he's doing to 2 jobs). He said he's leaving for Brazil either at the end of December or the beginning of January. So it might have been the last time I have seen him. Although I am planning a New Year's Eve trip to Busan... I don't know what to think about this guy or what he may think of me. But for some reason I really want to see him again before he leaves. Even without having sex.

There is a new addition to the show. Let's call him McFitness (he's a personal trainer in a gym near Gimpo). Yes, my monthly one-night-stand at Hongdae. Yes, hot body. Decent enough face. I spotted him the minute I entered the club and I told my girlfriends that this is the boy I'm hooking up with for the night. Sure enough we were heading out to find a motel 30 minutes later (seriously I amaze myself sometimes).He speaks decent enough English and is just as focus on practicing it as I am on practicing Korean. So it was hilarious: he was talking in English and I was answering in Korean. And the thing is... apart from very good sex, he was fun to talk with. And he sang me Kim Kwan Seok songs (a indi rock singer popular in the 90s). I mean no one ver knows Kim Kwan Seok these days and he did. And he talked beautifully about teakwondo. So now I get excited whenever he texts.
And he called last night. But I was sleeping in a Buddhist temple (a friend of mine is a hippie-like Buddhist monk. we sometimes travel together and crush for free at awesomely located temples. So cool!) and had the voice turned off on my cell. And because I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed I didn't see he called until this evening. So I texted quickly that I was sorry and how he has been. Turns out he was in Hongdae and thought of me. Oh, right: Booty call. So hello, reality check. This boy is not interested in you, girl.
But alas, there'll be another weekend and another boy.

Nonetheless, I feel...sad?

....

2009-10-21T10:29:00.000+02:00

Networking

2009-10-20T16:24:00.002+02:00

My fellow Chinese students and I were dying of boredom today in class. As far as our speaking teacher rocks, the 'homeroom' teacher (who covers grammar reading etc with us) is dull. After having a bit of nap and still nothing to do, I texted McCar. The story with McCar is as follows:
Last year, on a Friday, my dear friend P and I met at Apkujong with Z, a Kiwi girl we bumped into a week before in Iteawon. Z and P are delightful people, who guarantee fun and excitement. To make a short story even shorter we ended up pretty wasted in one of the posh soju bars (Gosh I better find it someday when I'm sober...). As the three of us are entertaining when drunk, we were soon joined by freshmen from a uni near P's and my school. Z started sulking about how hard it is to hook up with anyone descent. 'Phi' Isaid, 'see that guy, over there sitting with a freind and his girlfriend. I bet ya I can get him laid by the end of the night'. And with that I walked up to his table, sat down and struck up a conversation. Mind you, it was pretty hard: none of them spoke much English, and my Korean at the time was nonexistent. But I've always had good people skills and in no time I was friends with the girlfriend/boyfriend and the gonna-be-McCar was getting friendly under the table. The couple went to a norebang and MC suggested he drive me home. Now, that wasn't what I planed so I decided to change his mind. Using..uhmmm... body language? Well, I did such a good job, that we didn't have time for a motel. And that's how McCar became a McCar. I gave him my number and he called me several times, but due to the fact that none of us spoke our lingos (and I was sober) we didn't manage to meet. I was pretty sure I was part of his little legned, when he shagged a foreign girl in his (parents?) car.
So imagine my surprise when sitting in class is see his calling me on my phone. Now texting goes unnoticed, but I'm pretty sure the teacher would throw a fit if I answered a call in class. So I just texted him that I cannot talk now. Andforgot all about it, cause right after class I had some hand on hand Korean language experience at the dry cleaners and buying new sheets for my (tiny-winy) bed.
And he called me in the evening. As much as I have greatly improved in Korean since lat year, his English is still nonexistent. But we managed to have a decent conversation were we actually understood each other. He's still studying in one of the best unis in Korea (and in a department I want to study at...maybe I could use him to get in touch with one of the professors...), he's 2 years older than me (I was sure he was my age, but than the older the better) and was in about to have dinner (we still managed to talk for about 15 min...).
And he has a super sexy voice. So I'm hoping he can meet me on Saturday. Even though he shouldn't cause I have an exam on Sunday morning...But I'm thinking: it's a Korean language, right? And he only speaks Korean? So it's ok to study and have fun at the same time, right?

It took him exactly 2 weeks

2009-10-18T12:33:00.002+02:00

to come down from his cloud. I don't wanna get into much detail but McSexy and I had a fight. And yes, it was trough skype. And we basically told each other some harsh stuff. And yes, I was pretty much hurt and humiliated. But than again, it was a relief to have said all the things that were on my mind.
Technically, this would mean the end. But I now know McSexy, and I knew all along he would get impatient, break in and contact me first. And it took him 2 weeks to write: 'what is going on with you?'.
I was really busy at the time and wrote back after 3 hours, that I'm fine how about you. It's his turn to ignore me for, oh let's say, about 2 days.
I know I said that I don't want to have anything to do with this guy ever again. And I'm not ready to get humiliated all over again.
But what can I do, when I'm pretty much constantly thinking about him (true, recently my thoughts were about how to make him hurt reall bad and beg me for forgiveness)...

Oops I did it again.

2009-10-14T15:05:00.002+02:00

I have a horrible memory when it comes to names. Not just Korean. Any names. It is a bit embarrassing when I don't remember my class mates names. Thankfully my current colleagues (all Chinese) are all called something that rings a bell in my mind. So for example the girl next to me is Tanpong, which kinda sounds like 'Tampon'(sorry, that's what it really sounds like!). And than sitting behind me is Hui which sounds like Polish 'chuj' which basically means 'dick'.
Now the guys I mess around with.. they don't really have such inspiring names. So I have to think of nicknames in order to know who I'mtexting with or talking on the phone. Oddly enough the nicknames are kinda influenced by 'Grey's anatomy' (not my favorite show... but, yes, I'm an addict) So for last there's McBang (just called. damn, I forgot he had SUCH a sexy voice!) cause we had some fun in a DVD Room (DVD 방 - a place where a lot of young Koreans go to watch a movie and shag), McCar because... guess what, we did in his car, the Boy (was sweet and innocent), the Jerk cause he was into talking real dirty (I strongly believe that talking is to be saved for after sex...), McSexy... I don't know why I called him that - he never really deserved it in the first place. Now there is McBig (I don't really need to get into details, right?), McHans (majoring in German studies). And the Fan is back in the picture. Now he was last year studying with my friend P and myself last year in Seoul. Neither of us could figure out if he was gay or straight (That is if he was more into P or me). You see, he seemed to be flirting with both of us and we would constantly argue whose fan he was. Our last night in Seoul we all went out and we tried to get the Fan drunk to get the answer, but we went overboard and he got way too wasted to figure out the truth. I texted him last week and he was happy to hear from me.
My stupid school is forcing me to do a 3 day school trip. So no Seoul or Busan this week. On the plus side: I just made 4 bottles of soju drinks (pineapple and yogurt).

the pains of being pure at heart (student exchanges: the joys and horrors)

2009-10-12T14:55:00.004+02:00

Everyone should go at least once for a student exchange, preferably to a far away country (I did Korea last year). It's probably the last real holiday before settling into that grown-up professional life. It's the constant 4/6/12 months weekend. It's the parties, the traveling, meeting new people, etc. that makes student exchanges wonderful. And yes, there's the sex. Most of us turn into whores on tequilas, even if we do have someone back home. Out of homesickness, loneliness but also to prove ourselves (to ourselves), to let our hair down and, well, because we're really horny and free porn is not exactly the thing.
But than again I'm not sure if I support this. Yes, I know, this is the queen of one night stands' talking. But than again I don't have anyone that trusts me. No one who would be hurt be my behavior.
Now my two very good (if not the best friends) K. and P. both have someone back home. Not too sure about P, but I'm sure K. is pretty serious with her boyfriend. I mean like: 'living together, being almost engaged' serious. But they met and decided to hook up for the next couple of months, assuming that since they both have someone this won't get too drama-like.
They are both wonderful people and they make a great couple. And I now I'm pretty deprived of any romantic feelings (especially now), but I do sense that this is becoming so much more than just friends-with-benefits.
And than there is the thing about hiding this whole 'romance'. We're all miles away from home, but it's a small world, especially in the expat community and there are a lot friends of friends who might just tell to K and P's partners. Ha! I've been even accused (via Facebook) by P's girlfriend of mingling with him. All because of a photo were the THREE of us (I know: threesome. But it wasn't) are in the same hotel room. Oh, hello tacky drama!
The thing is, as bad a person I might be, I'm not into lying. I believe that even the most horrible truth is better than a lie, especially towards a close person. And well, the fact that my friends are lying (and asking me to lie) is making me uncomfortable. Than again, I'm not exactly the person to lecture them.

About my humble life: MS is out of the picture (as much as it hurts - but I don't want to be humiliated again), met a guy in Busan (let's call him McHans - he studies German literature). Got a phone (YEAH!) and when I texted Mc Big he was head over heels. Lost wallet, but instead of going hysterical I'm calm as a cucumber (the visit to the police station was so cool!). Trying to ditch a boring school trip to go to Seoul on weekend.

I have better friends than I deserve

2009-10-04T15:27:00.002+02:00

So I didn't break up into tears until I got home.
Mcsexy is the world's biggest jerk. As if I didn't know that...
But I got a huge load off my shoulders, so it should be getting better, right? I hope it does cause now I'm in pain I have never been before....

I take makkoli just fine

2009-10-01T06:44:00.002+02:00

It's incredible, but somehow I never have headaches after makkoli (and everyone else does). Magic really! I can't do any kind of wine at all (which is shame, cause I love it), vodka and soju is fine until it isn't, cocktails are deceiving and beer makes me feel drowsy.

We had a teakwondo exam yesterday and after that there was party with (obviously) makkoli among other things. 곰 선배 (he seriously looks like a big teddy bear!) made delicious pajeon (파전 called the 'Korean pizza' although it's more like a veggy pancake). The 나쁜놈 (the sexy looking teacher) didn't come, to my dismay. But than again, he does have a girl friend, and I don't really want to mess with that.

Going to Seoul again tomorrow. McSexy called me (on skype, don't get your hopes high) to say I should somehow contact him when I'm in town to meet up 'for a coffee' (that's what they call it now? not 'fuck and go' anymore?). We'll see about that...

Why things are they way they are

2009-09-28T14:49:00.002+02:00

This should've come as a first post or something. But it didn't so here it comes.
As hard as you may find it to believe, I'm not a sex obsessed teenage fugitive running away from home. Well, maybe I am a little obsessed with sex, but believe me: it's all in a healthy way.
It's not like I ended up here by accident. It goes way back to the times when the tiger smoked a cigarette:
I first come to Korea in the early 1990s (before Backstreet Boys or HOT). Father Dear had gotten himself a job here and since it was a few year contract we all moved in. My sister and I were rather young (sis wasn't even kindergarden age at the time), my parents were young and still hippy - wild and so I came to live in Seoul for four years (Iteawon area, so no kiddin': I come from the bronx!). After the traumatic first six months (I didn't know ANY English and school was a nightmare at first. Until the day after Christmas break I walked into the classroom and could speak English. Magic. SO much for kids learning languages...), we all settled in. Ma even got herself a job teaching Koreans Polish and other foreign languages (I never could get how she did that. My Ma talks many lingos, but one she never mastered was English. And still her students, whom I meet after 16 years, speak fluently...).

Back at that time, I though all kids from Poland went to live abroad and so everyone had something like two home countries. And so imagine my surprise when we came back to Poland. Believe me, I was bullied by my classmates for 1)speaking English better than Polish (I still write better in the former) 2) having lived in such a exotic place as Korea 3)having different style (my Ma loved the Korean girly fashion...) 4) not liking Spice Girls but some wierdo band, HOT. After sometime I learned not to tell about my previous life in Korea nor to brag about my English (thank God my parents made sure I went to private classes, cause it would've been a real shame if I had forgotten it).

When I went to my undergraduate school (in the inglorious Warsaw School of Economics. flashy name, loads of crap), I got a bit excited to see they had an exchange program with South Korea. I studied hard (e.g. put up with a lot of crap) and last year I went to Seoul for the fall semester. Now you might get the wrong idea reading the posts from that time. Seriously, I felt like coming home after a long time. Korea seemed familiar and friendly compared to hostile Poland.

So when I came back in December, I told Father Dear and Ma that I want to go back. They said 'That's great, Daughter Darling. But the Financial/Economic crisis is here to stay so we cannot support you financially. Deal with it'.
See, I'm a an ambitious diva brat. So when I want something I get it, no matter what. To make the long (and very dramatic!) story short I ended up here as a Korean Government Scholarship holder. In Choengju. But, hey! It's still Korea. Only 2 hour bus ride from Seoul.

PS. My roommate (Korean) just set me up on a 수개팅 (sugeting) - a blind (for me) double date (my roomie, her boyfriend and he's best buddy). He's apparently a policeman. Well, hello men in uniform!!!
Oh and Mcsexy crawled out of his hole (you were right Mike/Andy! but than that's what he tends to do after being dead for a few days) to tell me he doesn't like me ironic sense of humor (ok, the joke was rather lame, but seriously! he started by asking 'how have you been?'and 'fine' just seemed boring). And McBig is all quiet but I'm guessing he's scared too write in Korean (I might not understand) or English (he doesn't speak, so I'm guessing writing is too tough). Now if I ever get a cell phone, I'll certainly text this wonder boy (I had a dream where I was his manager and he was a porn star. I was telling the film director not too get too much close-ups on his face ^^).

Weekend getaway

2009-09-27T16:31:00.002+02:00

This weekend I spent Friday and Saturday nights in Sinchon and Hongdae and had blast. On Friday I met my two Polish friends (one of them is my ex-Korean teacher and th other is a fellow scholarship holder). We met some more friends, and after dinner (the bulgogi place! near the Dunkin Doughnut!) and drinks we headed to the clubs. Everyone wanted badly to go to M2. however since there was a HUGE queue we neded up at the hip hop club upstairs. NOw it was jammed as ever, so I decided to find myself a guy to dance with (I can handle one stranger touching me like y'know, but a crowd is too much. I know, I'm a freak).
I spotted this dude smoking by the bar, enjoying the music. He was tall, and although his face was no commercial he seemed decent, even maybe too decent. He was a quick reader of body language and we were soon dancing raunchy (truthfully there was no other way to dance). Since my friends were leaving he went out with them. They couldn't decide where they wanted to go, so I told them I'm leaving and headed off for drinks (you must try pineapple soju!!!) with the guy and his too buddies. Now they were an entertaining trio: they good looking guy, a nerdy shorty and a pudgy blondi (dyed) with a fashion taste from the 70s. I was really proud of myself cause we all talked only in Korean. It may not have been sophisticated discussion of Confucius, but still it's big deal for me.
We left the bar and the guy (btw. my age) and I went to do the naughty in a motel at this time of night all we could find was a scruffy little place, but after what happened I don't mind.
Now the following story may be TMI, so if you're not in the mood just skip it.
Well,we s
tarted groping under the table at the bar and I was really surprised at his quick reactions. And his size... As I said his face may not be the prettiest, but when he took of his clothes it was like seeing art of God. Oh, thank you Korean army for making boys look like this! And about his size... we do know Koreans are not the leaders in that department (although apart from the last year's Boy I was more than satisfied). Well this fella could easily get a role in a premium porn production. I mean it! And with that body who could be a star!That wasn't the end of surprises! him being young (like me), I thought I'd see a shy unexperienced boy. Oh, how wrong I was. He knew his way around. Now his kisses were a 7/10 but overall I can give him a 9 or maybe even 9.5. Plus he was really trying and making sure I was enjoying myself. NOw with Mcsexy, him being a narcistic jerk aware of his looks and money, he doesn't bother to try with a girl. He's like an 8,5 most of the time (last year he once was a perfect 10)without an effort and he could easily be a 10 if he wanted. So in short it was nice to have a guy who tries. Plus him being a med student I didn't have to go through the regular discussion why one should use condoms. Believe me, in Korea boys are not aware that condoms not only prevent pregnancy...

Now as soon as I get myself a phone I'm texting McBig (yes, my little GA fetish). If first time was sooo good, the next can only be better.

Later in the afternoon I met my friend for lunch (to discuss what happened to us after we parted) and she convinced me to stay one more night in Seoul. We visited a few bars and pubs. I got convinced into getting myself a tattoo by her Korean American 'friend' (he had some amazing tattoos! like wow!), we discussed sex (conclusion: as long as it doesn't involve kids or donkeys it's ok), sang our asses off at norebang ('Puff the magic dragon' was the song of the night) and ended up having ddokpoggi and pineapple soju for breakfast.

About MS... I think I now want to end this. But since I'm more adult than doing this online or on a phone, I need to meet him. I need to tell him that this has gone beyond my control and that it's more than a booty call. But with his attitude I don't think I want to continue getting hurt and manipulated. But since he keeps on avoiding me it's impossible setting up a meeting. And guess what? when I came home today he wrote on skype how upset he was that i hadn't dropped by his place (the gangnam apt). WTF?! But than again this shows in how big of a need of a cell phone I am. I'm still waiting for my ARC, so I can buy a postpaid, and believe me now I could have a brick as long as it calls and texts.

Oh surprise, surprise

2009-09-25T06:27:00.002+02:00

He didn't write back. Well, good bye, Mcsexy! As much as it hurts me I had enough waiting for you and putting on with your stuckupness. Have a nice life!

Today is Hongdae Club Night and the beast is finally ready to feed!

Luck is my middle name. Too bad my first is Bad

2009-09-24T16:19:00.002+02:00

So, ok, WOW he wrote back. But:
"hey how have you been? surviving without mobile phone is not easy here in Korea. I am sorry to say that I have to visit my parents this weekend or my mom's birthday. i also would like to meet up but seems very difficult for me. peace"

He probably isn't lying cause he and his ma are real close.
But the thing is: I really gotta meet him this weekend. To tell him all I need to say. cause if I don't I'll be die of stress. And if he doesn't, i'll drink myself silly, call him (friends phone) and blurt it all out and become officially Miss Little Crazy. And that'll be the end. But I'm seeing no other choice.

Since I'm going to Busan in 2 weeks, I'm thinking of texting/e-mailing the Busan hot stuff I met last year. But can't really, not knowing about MS....

wrote him a message

2009-09-23T16:47:00.002+02:00

'I'm coming again to Seoul on Friday evening. No, I still don't have a phone. Yes, it pisses me off too but there's nothing I can do about this, here's bureaucracy for you - it's pretty much the same anywhere in the world.
I'm confused if you want to meet with me or not, but know this: it's a last chance until November. The following weekend is Chusok (so you're out of the picture), and than I have all those travel plans with my friends or forced integration weekends thrown in by my crappy uni.
I must say it is extremely difficult getting you to cooperate, but since I'm phoneless, I have to arrange everything earlier. Besides, I live in Cheongju and cannot be in Seoul in a spare of a moment.
To make a long story short, I want to meet with you this Friday night. Do you?
m. '

What hurts me is I know he won't bother answering. And than on Sunday evening he'll write to me as nothing had happened.
It's not the being played with that hurts. It's the fact that I'm aware of this that twists my gutts.

This is not a swine flu

2009-09-23T13:50:00.002+02:00

Yeah, I have a a runny nose, sore throat and a tiny fever. Believe it or not, dear Koreans, this is NOT (I repeat: NOT) a swine flu. IT is a cold. Something you get if you run around all sweaty on a cool September night. And no, kimchi WON'T cure this, unlike a good night's sleep.
So I went to Seoul on weekend. I was blue all Friday, until my onnie and oppa made the MOST delicious dinner ever. Like homemade barbecue (meat and veggies), like all the traditional side dishes. Like my mouth watering. And then breakfast.... of kimchijjige! I must be going really Korean if my stomach tolerates that (it did get immune after a week of daily ttokpokki- rice cakes in super uber spicy sauce).
On Saturday onni took me to Seoul Grand Park, to the National Museum of Contempoprary Art (onni is a professor at History of Arts department and she was having a lecture for her students). Art is one of my little sophisticated pleasures. I mean, with a degree in Finance (and hopefully in International Relations) I should be more focused on money, investments and political issues. Well, I'm not. And I do regret never studying History of Arts. Be that as it may, I allow myself from time to time random tetes-a-tetes with art. So when leaving Seoul Grand Park I was happy to have appreciated some great culture.
A quick shower and I was back on the Seoul Subway. At Apgujong (for those of you who don't know: one of the most expensive, the most posh and glamour areas of Seoul) I met my Polish buddy (whom I first met here last year) and his Italian friend (with a FABULOUS body!). We first went to a bulgogi place for dinner (and 2 bottles of soju) and than to a chic bar/art gallery (for sweet cocktails and the best waffles I've EVER had). Now by the time we got to Gangnam soju bars (another posh area for the young and beautiful), we were really bounding. Y'know like you meet someone and become BFF straight away (like me and P. did last year)? Well it kind of happened again. I wasn't shy to be my really dirty and naughty self and the oys were openly eying the hot Korean guys around us. Now last year it didn't cross mind that my Polish buddy, M., is as gay as a whistle. But than I have no gaydar whatsoever. But he is and so is the hot Italian guy. After exchanging your Korean guy stories (M. even dated one for TWO years!), we decided to head to the lustful area of Iteawon (the dodgy area of Seoul, full of foreigners). The boys changed clothes (I saw the Italian just in his undies: WOW! what a body boy!) and we headed out for the hunt at Hookers' Hill.
Now as much as I despise Iteawon, there's this small street on Hookers' Hill that I love. The Homo Hill with the Queens club, the bars with my favorite waiters, the beautiful gays, the shameless pop music. Another thing is: I hate being touched. I mean, not like during sex (that would be though without touching), but hugging, cuddling and kissing on cheeks is not my thing (to the point that I might've scared MS away with that). I don't even let my ma hug me unless she seems to be upset about something. But at Homo Hill I love hugging the guys, the friendly kisses, the naughty dancing, without second meaning. You see, even a cold bitch like me needs some warmth from time to time and Homo Hill is the only place where I feel safe enough. Yes, Fraud, this is a problem.
So at Homo hill I had a blast. And than I saw this guy who looked so much like Mcsexy it was incredible! The boys saw him too and they were like WOW. Although M. knew him from last year and apparently he was a real cock teaser (like his straight counterpart!). The Hot Guy was real friendly with us, flirting with both the boys, complementing me (and ha! i got his phone number! no phone of me own still...). Before I got into the taxi taking me to onni's place (at 7 am) he still couldn't decide which boy he wanted to do. So I gave him my packet of condoms and told him to do both.

Now when I come home to Cheongju the next day, imagine my surprise when Mcsexy is all talky-talky through skype. And genuinely surprised (and upset?) that I was in Seoul and didn't sleep at his place.
Y'know. I want to meet him this weekend. Just to tell him this:
'You know. I'm the 'fuck and run' girl. I'm out the door right after sex and I rarely bother with texting later, let alone with ever meeting the guy again. But with you... I broke all my rules. I have met you several times, for some reason we've been skyping all year. I don't know why, but when you don't write back to me on skype, I get frustrated. I never used to care about such things, but now I do. I wonder throughout the day what you do, what you may be thinking about. And yes, the memory of sex with you makes me fall asleep with a wide smile on my face. I enjoy talking to you, and although I try to sound more smarter and wittier than I really am, I' not afraid to speak out my mind, because I rather you know my what I really think, than just impress you. So tell me... what happens next? Because now I'm confused. And just like Rick in 'Casablanca' you have to decide for the both of us'.

If I do meet him and say all this, I will be out the door, blushing and gulpping tears. And regretting and not regretting at the same time....

Yesterday is nothing but a mile away.

2009-09-18T01:48:00.002+02:00

Aching muscles and a good night sleep are the best remedy for a buzzed up mined. I'm still going to Seoul. After all, I got loads of friends I shouldn't neglect. I'll have tremendous fun, might even have the chance to hook up with somebody on Saturday. Maybe even get laid, the good ol' motel style. Most importantly, I'm going to at least one art exhibition (COEX) and maybe for a lecture to the National Museum.
About MS: I gave him a lot of chances this week to hook up with me on the weekend. His lack of reaction is pretty clear: I'm to get lost. As much as it may hurt me (especially after the previous weekend), it's for the best.

fuck

2009-09-17T11:42:00.001+02:00

Y'know I hate this about myself. My mind is saying 'relax chica, stay cool. Focus on your studies'. My heart is not saying anything cause it's so confused. But my vagina is pretty outspoken: go and fuck him!
Yes, I'm extremly angry and upset that he's ignoring me on skype....

The Seoul Weekend

2009-09-14T14:50:00.001+02:00

So I went to Seoul this weekend. Belive me: I almost cried out of joy when the bus arrived at Nambu Bus Terminal. And I was almost happy and glowy on the Tube. The thing is I still don't have a phone (waiting for my ARC to buy something better than what we had last year) so this weekend was going to be quiet the challenge in meeting all the people I wanted. First I set off to Sinchon to meet my Korean language teacher from Poland (she's doing a course this semester at Sogang Univ and rents a room nearby) and a fellow KGS holder, also from Poland. It was nice to speak in Polish, rant about Korean bureaucracy and cultural misunderstandings. After lunch my teacher and I walked around Ehwa, were I bought the most adorable gift, so be a sport and plz gimme your home address. We set off to Kyobo bookstore (bought myself level 2 Korean text books - screw the 선생님. I'm gonna study by myself) where we met my fellow Cheongju students (the Filipino chcia and Japanese 선배). Together we went to Insadong for traditional tea (yum!). When the two left back for Cheongju, I went with my teacher to Sogang Univ for dinner. There was some sort of fest, where each department prepared a makeshift food stand. Around 10 pm I set off for Gangnam where I met Yulim, who was later joined by Ju (the girl who was also with us at Rubber Seoul concert). We did girl talk at one the local clubs, complaining about not being laid, too much work, stupid swine flu regulations etc. In the mean time I was setting an appointment with Mcsexy. Instead of saying he'll come he gave me his address telling me to come over, cause he was being to lazy to move his ass. I was reluctant to leave the girls, because then I'd be stuck without a phone in an area I don't know to well (had it been Kyonghee.. but it wasn't). I tried catching a cab, but the drivers didn't want to take me, claiming it was too close for them and they'd rather wait for a longer course. Finally one of them took pity over me and using his GPS found Mcsexy's apartment block and the way to get there (basically: walk straight. so much for me being street wise). It wasn't a long walk, but I was on heels in a short dress (yes, THE uber short black dress). I finally got to what turned out to be an officetel (office+hotel = small flats that you can either live in or have a small office. or both) under the name of 'Rexion' (yes, yes half of the jokes are on how it is similar to ERECTION). Anyway, I was pretty pissed off when Mcsexy opend his door (to a small, but chic flat with an awesome view on Gangnam. 22nd loor does have it's benefits). I did growl a bit, but when you see a guy who looks hot in his sweats (and you realize you want him on you. naked) you quickly forget about being bithcy and drama queen.
He gave a t-shirt to change into (so I was: darn no sex. at least I get a place to sleep in), put on some music (good taste!). He was thrilled by my small buy-in gift (the small Zburowka vodka). We laid on his super chic couch and then went up to his small bedroom where I got what I wanted. He later ordered a trip to Mcdonalds (on 1st floor), where we were stared up and down (a white chica dressed in the guy's clothes and a Korean guy... some sight)
The problem is I never sleep with guys. I mean sleep-sleep. I usually sneak out somewhere in the middle of the night. So here was I constantly rolling over, hot and cold at the same time. I didn't get any sleep, so in the morning I was a bit miserable.
Now Sunday was the most weirdest day of my life. He put on some Marron 5, sang along made the most horrible coffee ever. We then went to a local shopping center (kinda a Ikea+Home Plus/Tesco with stuff imported form the US). I only tagged along because I was too tired to find a good excuse not to. This was couple stuff! Finding beddings and groceries! When I was almost fainting because of hunger and fatigue he told me off for not telling me and made us go out for lunch and coffee. We napped at his crib. Now when he announced his ma was coming at 3 pm I knew it was time to run (although he was like 'ah c'mon! my mum is cool, she won't eat you!' The thing is: me and mum's we don't get on too well).
So I got back to Cheongju, a bit confused and lost. The thing is it didn't feel wrong hanging out with him (as I thought it would feel). We talked about a whole lot of things and than again even sitting in silence didn't feel awkward. Be that as it may, we haven't talked much. but than again he is working...
Other than the Mcsexy news, me and my dorm mates are having a smelly problem: the Bangladesh girl is not too clean. Plus she's real bitchy and drama queen. I mean: I know she maybe homesick and scared but that doesn't mean she has to be bad attitude on us. I told her off and she cried, so the other foreign girls (apart form the cool Filipino) are angry with me. Fuck them.
Gotta go. My next door neighbors bought me ddokpokki!

Confused

2009-09-13T14:46:00.001+02:00

This was.... I dunno. Weired? Cool? Amazing? Awkward? I'm lost...

Should I or should I not?

2009-09-08T14:21:00.003+02:00

Cheongju on Sunday afternoon

Still freaking out about learning Korean (the seonseangnim is gonna give my Filipino pal and me extra TOPIK exercises, so that's good). Moreover, I'm forcing my roomie/onnie to talk in Korean with me (she's not too happy cause she wants too practice her English. tough luck) Made a list of universities who a) have my major b) are in Seoul. It came down to the required 5: Yonsei (no chances here, I think), Sogang, Ehwa (all girls... but Yonsei is across the street), Hanyang, Hankuk. Heard a rumor today that we're only allowed to apply to 1 uni in Seoul. But a quick flick through the guidebook didn't confirm this. Wrote to NIIED team anyway. Fingers crossed.
Oh, and Mcsexy had the guts to write from work (he's started this week. First time in a Korean cheobol). Apparently they're letting him have it easy this week. So anyway he called me on skype just to ask whether I want to Global Gathering next weekend in Seoul. I was like 'duh, WTF is that?!'. But then he had to hang up (the boss had returned from the loo). So this is the follow up:
[17:31:37] M: sept 17 or 18?
[17:31:44] J: 18
[17:31:46] J: and 19
[17:32:24] M: Fri & sat. I'm good then. what is it?
[17:32:33] J: let you know the ticket price
[17:32:47] J: www.global-gathering.com
[17:33:13] J: it is run by my friend who also runs club answer
[17:34:39] M: wow, i hope it won't eat up my whole mothly scholarship...

So basicly this guy is telling me to buy my own ticket? I'm pretty pissed off, because here was I thinking this (super duper hot stud) guy was genuinely interested in me. And he's treating me like what? His buddy? Is he so bold as to ask a scholarship student (who's not exactly swimming in money) to go and buy her self a ticket? Oh yeah, and he wants it to be in VIP lounge. I don't know who'd I'd have to fuck to be able to afford this. Not anyone in Cheongju, that's for sure. I was silly enough (as always) to say that I'll think about it. Should've told him to shove it. But I'm playing a lady here (a dirty and naughty one, but still), so now I'll have to play along and say that I have other plans and he should find himself another date.
W. says I'm being silly and that I should 'allow' him to buy him the ticket. Hello? I'm so not gonna tell him I'm too poor to go fancy in Seoul... So typical Bridget Johns, isn't it.

It's still not the end of the battle so 화이팅!

2009-09-04T18:08:00.002+02:00

I know I was supposed to translate some of the stuff I posted on my Polish blog. But a) I'm too lazy b) this has become more of a provate blog for all my rantings. You see, for some undiscovered reason, I find it easier to write about my feelings and emotions in English. Yeah, duh, normal thing for a diplomate's child. So I'm really sorry about this, but I'll continue my rantings. There's always Google translate if you're interested in my humble articles.
The first week in Cheongju is slowly coming to an end. And as much as I find the university and city convienient and nice (ugh, hate that word), there are a few 'buts'. I'm a big city girl, so a town without a subway and big open, pollution-free spaces confuse me. Moreover, whoever thought of closing the dorm at 11 pm? I mean, I'm not partu obssesed, but I do like to go out and let my hair down on Friday nights. On the other hand this may be a good thing. You see, I've had a chat with a few students, who come for this scholarship last year. And what they said was this: if I want to do my degree in Seoul I better work my ass off. Now, I'm level 1/1,5 (out of 5) in Korean. In 6 months time I better make it to level 5 if I wan to dream about Seoul. Yep, that's ow though it is. On one hand I want to burst into tears. On the other, just like 6 months ago, I feel motivated and ready to fight for what I want. God, and I badly want it! Shit, I started to write a diary! in Korean! Something I havn't done since preschool!
Talked with Mcsexy yesterday on Skype. Talked like using one's mouth, not chatting. For over 2 hours. About everything from politics through economy to global warming and Korean corporate culture. He seemed... happy? that I'm here? I don't know what to make of this. But I was reminded what a sexy voice he has. And that is not helping matters. Acheiving top level in Korean that is.
If someone's reading this... can you please wish me luck? I'll need loads of it in the next 6 months...

I aien't dead yet

2009-09-01T16:50:00.003+02:00

Sunset in Cheongju

So I arrived last evening and I'm still pretty jet legged. But a nice lunch of fresh kimbab brought the smile back on my worn-out face. The trip was horrible (EVIL economic class!!! and food on turkich airlines... bleh!) but than Istanbul is very beautiful and we made the most of our stop over (for photos check my Polish blog) . A fellow sholarship holder from Ghana and I were picked up by a Korean student from our uni (ugh! he was a sweatheart but I swear no taller than I am. so much for a welcome hotness. But than the guy at the immigration desk at Inchoen Airport asked me if I was a model. After a 9,5h flight!! So not!). We arrived after a 2 hour drive and I only managed to unpack to then dropped like a fly.
Today at 9 am we had a Korean language test. I managed to do 3 out of 8 pages of the written part and I didn't get throough some of the questions at the speaking (no kiddin'! I'm still proud of myself considering how awful I felt. and looked, for that matter). We then filled forms for ARC and a bank account. After that I strolled a bit around the neighbourhood, bought the necessities. I'm really looking into buying a bicycle. I mean, Cheongju is hilly and surrounded by mountains (it is Korea we're talking about here), but compared to Seoul it's flat as a pancake.
The dorm: Rooms slightly bigger than what I had at KAIST Buisness School and a bit more shelves. This is sort of like a flat with 3 double rooms, 2 toilets and a shower. And a balcony. I got the top floor and the view pretty much rocks (again: check the Polish blog)
As for the people here : my roommate will be Korean but since the classes start on the 7th, she still hasn't arrived. The other foreign chicks in my room are a Bangladashi (??) who is a bit stiff and weird and wouldn't know irony if it waltzed around her naked, and a sweet Filipino, who reminds of a sweet cuddly animal with a bit of wit that might surprise us.
Most girls don't love me here (do they ever?!) cause I'm kind of the rebelious rock chick on campus and they are either very religious (chistians or muslims) or very girly girly all about being a lady. Neither of the types will ever join my fan club.
The boys are a bit better. The Ghana guy is nice if you get past his accent, there's a Mexican who's a bit of my fan (although he did say I'm bossy and constantly angry). Others are still blurs in the crowd but that will change.

I'm a bit frustrated that a lot of people are fluent in Korean. I mean, y'know me, I don't like not being the best in the group. I guess I'll have to suck it in and be more humble. Which will be a very tough task, belive me...

:)

2009-08-07T16:50:00.001+02:00

I'm coming to Korea somewhere in the end of Agust. Details coming up :))))

Waiting is not making me a happy camper

2009-07-20T13:20:00.002+02:00

I didn't want to write anything new on the blog until I got the results for the Korean Government Scholarship program. Which were supposed to be announced on the 3rd of July. And now we have the 20th. And today I got an e-mail from one of the KGSP officials saying that the delay in announcing the results for the Polish applicants is due to problems with our academic records. WTF?!!?! Our academic records are confirmed by the Polish Ministry of Education and the local Korean Embassy!?!? What could be possibly wrong with them!?!? Seriously!!!! And obviously the embassy knows nothing of this.
I'm seriously getting used to the thought that I won't get the scholarship.

Some time soon I'm thinking of translatiing a few posts from my Polish blog. Right now I'm too pissed of to even think straight, let alone translate.

Oh, yeah. I'm a BA now.

Rollercoaster

2009-03-23T21:28:00.002+01:00

The whole grand Korea comeback is giving me an emotional roller coaster ride. I'm praying for July when I'll know everything. I hope, just hope everything works out. Please do.

On Love, in sadness (might finish the first chapter this week)

2009-03-09T22:07:00.002+01:00

Warsaw in Febuary

2009-02-22T19:47:00.002+01:00

Playing around with my camera

The entrence to the Warsaw underground (Politechnika station)

Łazienki Park

Monkey tricks in the playground

Saski Park

Not a lot you can do in a park...

The Palace of Culture and Science (or just 'The Palace') looms over Warsaw. This Stalin's gift to the people of Warsaw is both loved and hated, but is nevertheless part of the landscape.

'Private Property'- a sign you see very often in Warsaw. People living in blocks of flats choose to fence themselves from the outside wrold, forming so called 'middle-class ghettos'

Nowowiejska St./Waryńskiego St.

'Beware of the car'

Some random pics from today's walk in downtown Warsaw.

Sometimes

2009-02-21T23:41:00.002+01:00

Sometimes my uni (Warsaw School of Economics) me really hate what I study. Yet another boring lecture, where the professor is talking in an uncomprehensive manner as if he didn't care whether we're interested in the subject or not. Any questions are assumed attacks on the professor himself, so everyone sits quietly or chats away with his/her neighbour. A horrble waste of time.

Sometimes, very rarly, there are moments when I'm thrilled that I'm studying finance. When I'm told about all those wonderful mechanics and instruments of the financial markets. When someone puts an effort and explains in details the reasons behind the current financial crisis. When I realize that I understand all this and I want to discover the undiscovered elements of economy. At these times I'm proud to be majoring at WSE.

Unfortuantly, this does not happen often.

I'm on a mission

2009-02-16T21:31:00.001+01:00

Finish writing the first chapter of my thesis paper by the 4th of March. DO IT!!!

The crisis/meltdwon

2009-02-15T14:04:00.002+01:00

Experts are freaking out, saying that what will hit us will make the 1930s recession look like an economic boom. On the other hand, intelligent people do realize that market is driven by emotions, so maybe if we don't panic things won't be too bad. But then most people agree with what the leaders of the G7 summit announced: that there is need for a new economic order. New rules to the old game, new approaches to old theories, new instruments to replace the old.
How will I be effected by all this? Do I still stand a chance of moving abroad? Or will I stay here and become yet another underpayed white-collor?

On the light side: hope dies last...

Cultural diffrences and are they a problem

2009-02-13T15:01:00.002+01:00

On one of the Polish blogs I follow there was big discussion on cultural diffrences: whether they are really an issue when you're living in another country. Below is more or less what I've written as my comment (since I'm not big on translating this is not EXACTLY what I wrote. It might be even better)! Since all my previous posts are rantings of a crazy teenager, I thought I'd post up something a bit more serious. But don't expect me to be as witty as Kant or Levi-Strauss - I'm an amateur, y'know!

From what I remember of my high school Philosophy lessons, culture is all material and immaterial things created by a society. Its role is to integrate and introduce some kind of order in the daily life of this particular society. It is common and fully understood by all the members of the group (or so they think). Considering all this, common cultures are not only shared by people living on one continent or in a particular country - even citizens of a city, district or specific a family, the smallest social unit, have their own 'cultures' (for example my family has a whole new vocabulary for socks).
However, these cultures that developed side by side usually share the same models and standards. This is why it's much easier to spot cultural differences between Europeans and Asians rather than between Poles and Germans.
The thing I find most interesting is that, when you think about it, most of the aims, goals, and objectives are more or less the same. We all want to ensure some kind of worth and value to the life of our society. And as humans we have similar needs and desires (let me just remind you of Maslow's pyramid). Therefore, the differences appear in the ways one can solve various issues. Moreover, societies may choose different values, they find most important. For instance Asians decided that it is more important on keeping strong bonds in a community, whereas Europeans think that an individual, with his/her needs, cravings, dreams ect. is the main issue. For various rational reasons people decided that it is better to focus on certain values. And there's no way one can go around saying that one culture cherishes 'better' values than another! Each culture is good for its people; each one has its shortcomings (which even those who were brought up in that particular culture point out). What I think is that we should be able to accept the 'different', be ready to step out of our 'safety zone'. Because after some time, that 'different' turns out to be similar to 'ours'. Or maybe we get used to it and it stops scaring us?

Moreover, in the era of globalization the 'differences' fading away. Nowadays, a young Korean more like a young Pole than his parents. We all have become citizens of the global village, the consumers of McCulture, believers of pop, who have their profile on Facebook. And yet again a new set of values is being created, as a foundation for a global culture. It has become incredibly easy for conformists to travel: at first glance each major city in the world has McDonald's, Coca-Cola, neons, cars, 'Western' fashion, English-speaking people... Fortunately, if you get off the beaten track of main streets and shopping malls, you can find the things that make each culture unique - a community's heritage. Not that I'm criticizing globalization! It's a wonderful example of exchanging ideas, opinions and comments. But it has to work both ways: if someone accepted my values, I should at least learn about his.

In my opinion it doesn't matter where one is from: it's what in his/her heart that's important. If you accept a person, 'cultural differences' are insignificant.

Je ne suis pas tres sage

2009-02-12T21:09:00.003+01:00

After a horrible day, a small, sweet thing can make you smile.

'Une femme est une femme' Jean-Luc Godard

Relaunch

2009-02-10T20:18:00.004+01:00

One of my favourite photos from Beijing. Not the best, but I really like it

I've noticed that quiet a few people from abroad (mostly Korea) are visiting my Polish blog. That's really nice, however I'm pretty sure they have no idea what I'm babbling about (and don't recommend Google Translate! it's a joke, like all online translators). So I decided to continue updating this blog. I'll try to post my photos here as well, although I'm still confused how to do it on Blogger. I'm a retard when it comes to advanced technology like blogs.

I guess I better reintroduce myself (or actually introduce myslef for the first time). I'm a twenty-something final year student at Warsaw School of Economics, majoring in Finance (my BIG mistake- BORING!), hopefully graduating this June. And I'm experiancing this wierd emotional tie with Korea. Some would even call it 'love', but I think that would be to tacky. The story behind this is as follows: as a small child I lived in Seoul for 4 years (parents working as diplomats). I don't remeber a lot: just some images, scenes, places. But for sure time spent in Korea influenced me. I became aware of this when I came back in August 2008 for a student exchange. I realized that all this time in Poland I had been...homesick! Yes, folks! I missed Korea! Not that I hate Poland or anything: I don't! It's a wonderful, crazy country where you're never ever bored. It's just that I never seemed to fit in with the rest here. I felt cooped up, limited, doomed to become yet another frustrated white collar. So I decided to go back after my graduation, in September, for my master's degree. My chances are looking very slim (economic recession hit my family and I won't get so much as a penny from my parents), but I feel some kind of glowy power that keeps me motivated. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Anyway, I flicked through the posts from November and December. At first I was going to delete them, becasue, let's face it, they are embarrassing rantings of a crazy Polish girl gone wild on her exchange. Now my head has cooled off and I see how silly I was. But on the other hand, I don't regret anything I did then, so I'll keep them as a tribute to my (probably) last holidays ever.

Cya soon!

Not a good student

2008-12-03T06:11:00.002+01:00

My lab-professor has this unnerving habit of waltzing into our lab when I'm not expecting him to. Which basicly means I'm usualy reading/watching something unsuitable on my computer. On one hand I shouldn't care: he pops in to get something from his Korean students. On the other hand I'm not sure I want him to see that I'm reading about Paris Hilton's new undies or watching K-pop music videos (something buisness students shouldn't brag about doing, oh no!).
I think I've become an enfant terrible of my lab: I don't really study or work; I surf on the web: mostly fashion blogs and so called 'life blogs' (I recently read a journal of a group of Poles who went sailing in Croatia- I started giggling histericaly, to the dismay of my labmates, when reading descriptions of Polish drinking traditions combined with the Croatian), my lab space looks like my dorm room (=men's locker room), I smuggle in snacks (Seriously! I don't know how I'm losing weight! I eat like a horse! or a decent sized pony!), I decorated the lab with: a horrible blue art box (Doing Business in Korea class^^), a paper cup lotus (a souvenir from the second trip to Busan) and a toy model of KIA upon a Dr Pepper can.
But the others are not saints! I caught the Fan reading online comics (plus he's the one who keeps half of his personal belonging in the lab: toilet stuff, gym stuff, shoes, clothes- you name it). The Nerd from Behind (a Phd student who looks like a malnourished teenager) keeps on playing FIFA World Cup or StarCraft. The Little Jerk (besides the fact that he's making out with two girls) downloads newest Hollywood productions (last I saw was 'Quantum of Solace).
But than the girls are really keeping appreances: the sweet Phd and the Catholic Girl are ALWAYS doing something connected with studying. And the Mongolian Gal is REALLY writing her theisis paper (she has her defence this Thursday- I'm betting she'll be a smash).
So you get why I'm kind of uncomfortable when the Professor is lurking behind my back. So not too come up as a complete dork, today I have my Leadership presentation open. That's much better than a big picture of Madonna and her new lover, huh?

Something as good as sex??

2008-11-18T08:19:00.002+01:00

Yessir!

It's shopping! I mean: just the thought of the awaiting hunt is so thrilling. It makes me sing inside, trwill and hum on the train, smile gleefully at the surrounding world. And I think this joy of mine if obvious to the outside world: I was checked by so many guys today! And some women, if I may add.

And then when the actual shopping starts.... checking out the materials, smelling the delicate textures, feeling the clothes tough your skin in the changing room, the feeling of delicate leather shoes on your feet... it's like a subtle foreplay.

By now you're already blushed and your heart is pounding. You're sweating on your neck and back. Your breath is getting shorter. Your knees are so weak it's hard to change back into your clothes.

Than comes the part when you wonder if (you've got a condom on you) you've got enough on your credit card. It's a moment of nervous doubt. You want to gone on to final base, but you better have (that condom) that money.

And than comes the orgasm. When the shopping assitant packs your new belonging. When you waltz down the street, with a giant grim on your flushed face. The world seems a better place! You feel like a god damn sexy number one! You feel like kissing every good looking guy you pass and he probably wants to kiss you back because you look so sparkly and glowy.

Your problems vanish, you stop caring about all those little things that made you miserable just the other day.

Seriously! This is about the same I feel after good sex!

These are my buys from American Apparel:

Cotton Spandex JerseyDouble U-Neck Dress

Sheer JerseyRacerback Tank

I didn't buy the lovely black bag I saw at Forver 21 (but I'm seriously considering coming back to get it- it was cheap and really lovely) and the most smashing shoes from Zara (can't find their image, but they were kind of motorcycle boots with an elegent edge to them). In other words they rocked and when I saw the price I cried.... I think I'll buy them and then I won't eat till I'm back in Warsaw.

Pop quiz

2008-11-17T08:20:00.002+01:00

Will chocolate chip biscuits and 'Sex and the City' turn me into a hot super model that will make McSexy want to call me?

Waiting for answers preferably from McSexy, Carrie Bradshaw or the fucking biscuits.

McSexy

2008-11-16T23:21:00.003+01:00

That's Friday guy's new nickname. By far he was the best ever. Better than the Jerk, the Boy and the Busan Guy (although i've been recently fantasizing about the BG. he was sweet in his melancholic way. plus the whole Busan stay was way too romantic).
In a way I wish he'd call. But than if he does, I might start having feelings (now I'm just craving him. although it's worrying that i'm not only fantasizing about having sex with him, but also about just hanging out togather). And that I do not want...
Damn, I'm Samantha from the 'Sex and the City'! Although a more dark and twisted version of her...

I've done some bad things with you

2008-11-16T01:56:00.002+01:00

I should be banned from entering to Answer Club in Apgujong. I leave each time with a diffrent guy and I'm back at the dorm in the afternoon.
Although this time I'm quiet proud of myself. Plus I got a free ego-boost. Thank you, Mr. Sex Friend!

I've officialy become the Queen Slut

Save me

2008-11-13T07:38:00.003+01:00

I HATE writing to some one I don't know for help. It's humiliating, that I am not able to help myself. Besides, I always imagine that the reciepient thinks of me as total idiotic, half-brain girly-girl, who is soooo retarded. But than, if I don't write this e-mail, I'll regret it 'till the end of my life.
I also hate it when people don't answer VERY important e-mails. Dear Mr coodrinator! Please, ple-hease write me back on my thsis paper! It's kinda important for me y'know. It's the only way I can get ouot of this crazy ass madafucka school and country.

So can someone please save me?

http://www.youtube.com/v/bNbTC6xLVg0&hl=en&fs=1

1,2,3.....

2008-10-24T03:51:00.001+02:00

Testing....